January 17, 2011
"The ultimate measure of a person is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where the stand in times of challenge and controversy." - MLK
So much going on this past week. Or maybe it's just me because I'm so anxious, nervous, excited, scared. It just seems like it was a long busy week. I am finally finished packing though. I had to take some stuff out though. I had both suitcases packed, plus my carry on, plus my backpack. PLUS I had already packed up a box to send right before I leave that will get to me while I'm still in training. Nothing that I needed right away but I will need when I move to my homesite. Out of curiosity I took it to the post office to see how much it would cost to mail. It was a sizeable box and weighed 17 pounds. If I want in delivered in 1-3 days it would be $401. If I want it in 3-5 days it would be $265. The cheapest way with a 6-10 day delivery would be $111. If I use a flat rate box which I can put up to 20 pounds into (which the box was 1/3 of the size I had in my hand...I don't know what you could put in it to make that little box weigh 20 pounds) it would be about $45-50.
I started thinking about what was in the box and how important it all was. Maybe I need to rethink what's in my suitcases, take some of the niceties but unecessaries (if that's even a word) out and replace it with what's in the box. So I spent 2 days rethinking my packing. Moved stuff around, took stuff out. I had a couple of things that didn't weigh much but took up space (some puzzles and a game to bring to the kids) and a couple of things that don't take up much space but have weight (shampoo, conditioner, moisterizer...which we can get there albeit not the quality of stuff from here...OH WELL). All this came out. What I wound up with is two suitcases that still weigh over the limit (only by a couple of pounds...I'm hoping they let it slide) and STILL a box that I have to mail. I can't break it down any more than I already have. Not going to happen. I'm going for 2 years. What's another $100?
Friday there was a special on 20/20 about the Peace Corps. There was a young PCV (Peace Corps Volunteer) murdered in Benin West Africa (a few countries away from Mali) in March of 2009. She was a education volunteer that was in Benin from 2007 and set to go home in the summer of 2009. Kate blew the whistle on a local Peace Corps employee she suspected of raping seventh-grade girls. In her letter to the PC regional office she had asked that her identity stay anonymous as the brother of the man she was accusing worked in the PC office. Unfortunately word of who she was got out. After the man was fired Kate was found shot to death outside her home in Benin.
The saddest, most disappointing thing to me is that PC made no attempt afterwards to contact Kate's family. They took no responsibility for this tragedy. The woman that Kate sent her letter to quit after Kate was killed. Apparently she felt responsible. As a PC employee and a representative of the PC so should the PC have felt responsible.
Also on the show were 6 girls that came forward with their stories of sexual assault while on deployment in their countries. Although these stories were absolute nightmares for these girls to the extent that I can't even begin to imagine my biggest problem with PC is their wanting to keep it hush hush and cover the stuff up. One girl that went home after her incident was told to tell the other PCVs that she had to leave to have her wisdom teeth pulled. WTH?? I'm sure they do it so they don't lose volunteers. I'm not going to not go, but I'd like to know that the possibility of this happening is real and what I can do to avoid it. Let us know what goes on there so we can make an intelligent decision on whether we want to go based on ALL the facts. And we can be prepared for anything and everything. I'm sure there is extensive training on safety. I KNOW there is. So now that I'm more aware of stuff like this, I won't go out in the city...at night ...alone...after a drink or two (frankly I wouldn't do that in downtown San Diego no less a foreign third world country where the rules don't apply). One or two of the girls mentioned about they shouldn't be made to feel bad or that it was partially their fault because they went out and had a couple of drinks. NO, the Peace Corps shouldn't make them have to feel that way. But again this is a foreign third world country where the rules do not apply. I can't stress enough that "the rules don't apply". If they let...had...these girls tell their stories at the time, maybe it wouldn't have happened to the other girls. They would have known that the safety training they got and what they were told about the possiblity of sexual harrassment and assault was real. It happened...to one of them...NOW. Covering up leaves all the other girls ignorant and a target. Ignorance is not always bliss.
It is all very upsetting...especially what happened to the young girl that was killed. She sent an email to ONE Peace Corps person asking not to have her name revealed and it got out who she was and she is now dead... And Peace Corps, except to tell the parents that their daughter was dead, hasn't even so much as made contact with them...shame on them. That was a horrible tragedy and PC should feel responsible in this case. There was a girl in Bangledesh that was also a different case and horrible tragedy. She felt that she was in danger, that a group of men/boys was following her, and other PC volunteers. She asked several times to be removed from her city to no avail. She was grabbed one night and ganged raped by several men. The biggest thing that sticks out in mind about this story is that she felt/knew that she was in danger, why on earth was she out alone...night...day...or any time in between. I would have gotten my shit and left with or without the permission of the PC. I would have gone to the PC regional office and set up camp right in their office if I had to. I would have talked to them and suffered the consequences from a safe place at a later time. No matter what they knew or didn't know about what was going on, they knew this volunteer felt that she was in danger. They should have done something...especially taking into consideration that Bangledesh is one of the poorest, high crime rate places on earth. Shame on PC again.
Of course on the PC Facebook group I belong to everyone is freaking out a bit. I posted some exerts from the Mali Welcome Book. The biggest thing being that we are responsible for our own safety and well being.
As stated in the Peace Corps Volunteer Handbook, becoming a
Peace ...Corps Volunteer entails certain safety risks. Living and
traveling in an unfamiliar environment (oftentimes alone),
having a limited understanding of the local language and
culture, and being perceived as rich are some of the factors
that can put a Volunteer at risk. Many Volunteers experience
varying degrees of unwanted attention and harassment. Petty
thefts and burglaries are not uncommon, and incidents
of physical and sexual assault do occur, although most
Volunteers in Mali complete their two years of service without
personal security incidents. The Peace Corps has established
procedures and policies designed to help Volunteers reduce
their risks and enhance their safety and security. These
procedures and policies, in addition to safety training, will be
provided once you arrive in Mali. At the same time, you are
expected to take responsibility for your safety and well-being.
Malians generally consider it important to dress appropriately
whenever they are going to be seen in public—whether at
work, in the market, or at a bar. It is almost unheard of, for
example, for a Malian man or woman to wear shorts unless
he or... she is taking part in some kind of sporting event. Nor
would a professional man or woman ever be seen in public
wearing dirty, disheveled, wrinkled, or torn clothing. Dressing
appropriately will greatly enhance your credibility, improve
your ability to integrate into your community, and increase
your odds of having a safe Peace Corps service. Asidefrom
following Malian norms for dress, however, Volunteers need
to be aware of other unwritten rules of the culture, such as
the fact that Malian women never go to a bar on their own.
Serving in the Peace Corps often requires sacrificing personal
preferences regarding dress and behavior. There will be ample
discussion of this subject during cross-cultural sessions in preservice training.
There is a page in the invitation booklets that we received that went into detail about dress. This is a muslim country. We are to wear dresses/skirts that come at least to mid-calf, never ever show your knees and long sleeve shirts. Some areas we may need to cover our hair. But then I read posts and blogs of volunteers already there saying they know they would get more respect if they dressed appropriately, or in the traditional garb, but they don't really care. Or I'm not comfortable in a skirt. Their packing lists include skinny jeans and cute tops. Really!!?? I'm not comfortable in a skirt either but I accepted the invitation to their country based on the stipulations that I would respect their culture. Part of my job is to immerse my self into their communities. We should dress, act and speak accordingly. And if we don't then we don't gain their respect, we don't immerse into their communities and their can certainly be, obviously be other consequences. Some of the packing list of some girls already there consisted of blow dryers, flat irons, make up, skinny jeans, cute tops, heels, etc. I do understand that it could be important for some people to have something of themselves from back home. Maybe they want to dress up every once in a while and go out on the town and feel like "home" for a little while, but it may turn out badly. I know some people are going to read this and think that I am blaming the way these girls dressed or the way they behaved or the fact that they were hanging out in bars at night alone on what happened to them. Not in any sense of the word "blame" am I saying that. But you have to agree, we already stick out like sore thumbs and then to walk around dressed up for a night on the town.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure they go over very well in training about safety and what you should do to avoid unwanted attention and stay safe. Its our responsiblity to put that training into action. Be educated, be smart and stick together. Back to kindergarten buddy system. We have the benefit of learning from the nightmares these other girls survived. I hope we use this information wisely.
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