Rough times

April 15, 2011


Well I didn’t get dinner last night…or breakfast this morning. I spent most of the morning moving stuff around, putting everything I won’t need right away in one suitcase and all my clothes in the other suitcase. The one suitcase I will close up into the corner. The other will remain out and available to me as I don’t have any kind of dresser. Lord only knows how long I’ll be living out of a suitcase.

Miriam, the Matrone, bought me lunch. Good thing. I was starting to feel a little woozy. The usual, rice with peanut sauce. A Malian favorite. After I finished eating I left to bring her the leftovers. Of course on the way out the door I spilled the remainder of the peanut sauce down the front of my shirt and skirt. I changed and headed out to her house with my clothes in a bucket to wash. No matter where I go the kids gather round, adults stop by when they otherwise would just keep on walking. I am the center of the universe in Bougoula. Which has its pros and cons. I want to take care of myself and do for myself and that is just out of the question. They grabbed my clothes to wash. If I can even make it to the pump to get water without someone grabbing my bucket, usually someone will run over and pump the pump for me, or carry my bucket back, and of course there’s the smart asses that just like to make fun of me and mimic me pumping the water. You would think you would like everyone doing everything for you but it’s really annoying. I have to literally sneak out of my house. If the 19 year old next door sees me doing anything she runs over to stop me and do it for me. From getting water, to sweeping…I’m surprised she doesn’t want to wipe my ass for me. Sorry, I’m not feeling this whole experience right now. What starts out good always seems to turn out bad.

Now it’s time for bed and it’s 95 in my room. It’s cooler outside but since they didn’t finish my wall and everyone stares at me during the day there is no way I’m sleeping outside with them leering at me while I sleep. So I will stay inside and get my usual 3-4 hours sleep…whether I need it or not.

April 16, 2011

Some of you wanted all the details about what I’m doing…even my bowel movements…which, by the way, haven’t been anything to speak of. No Mr. D (Peace Corps doctors nice way of saying diarrhea) so far. But this adventure sure has been the emotional roller coaster they said it would be. So roller coaster you will get good and bad. I am sitting in my tent/bed balling, wondering what the hell I’m doing here. I hate it here, I hate the people, I hate the heat, I hate frogs & lizards & spiders, I hate the noise I hear on my roof all night, I hate the footsteps of what I can only imagine is a bird (or hope it’s a bird) that I hear up there now, I hate that every time I open my door everyone in hearing distance looks and wants to know where I’m going. I hate that no matter how much I study I can’t understand or communicate with anyone. And even when I try they just mimic me (kids and adults) and make fun of me. What the hell!! At this point I can’t imagine staying here another minute. The thought of two years makes me want to shoot my own foot just to get sent home. I keep pushing through because I think it has to get better, right? But so far no relief from the constant torture called Africa. I left my children, my family & friends. My motorcycle…MY BED!!! My big beautiful bed!! Two years. I can’t do it. Maybe I need a nap and I can write more later…or when I’m feeling more positive. If you never hear from me again you’ll know why.

7pm – it just keeps getting better

As waking up from my nap I opened my eyes to a bat hanging from the beams just above my bed. So am I feeling better now…that’s a big NO! I told the regional director when he came out when I was here for site visit that something was going to be living in my house soon. If I can see light from where the beams go in and out of the house then something can get in. He argued with me that nothing could get in that small whole. HOW ABOUT A SMALL BAT!! I called him and yelled at him. He came by after installing the last person to their site. He says, “Oh yeah I can see where something would be able to get in there through the end opening.” Really!?? In the morning my jatigi (host family…a 20 year old guy, Osmoune, and his 19 year old wife, Cheta, with a 2 year old and a 6 month old) is going to get right on that. Since he spends most of his day sleeping he shouldn’t have trouble finding the time. In the meantime, Cheta’s father, who seems to be the horny old guy of the neighborhood came over when I told him there was a bat in my house to get rid of it. Apparently “get rid of” means he’s going to try and beat it to death with my broom. He chased it around a little until he lost sight of it. It still hasn’t come into sight again so I don’t know if it’s gone or just hiding. The good thing about bats is that they sleep all day (much like a Malian man) and they are gone all night (from what I’ve seen…also like a Malian man). So I guess I can spend one night trying not to think about it. There so tiny too. Maybe five inches long if that. But they can really swoop and fly when they’re out at night.

Talking about the horny old guy, I found out last night that he has 3 wives and 15 children. The kid I saw last night that was maybe 6 months old is his. He’s gotta be 65-70 if he’s a day. He likes to come over to chat at night at my house. As I open the door I try to push my way out as he’s pushing his way in. This morning I finally won that battle. I sat on a tree stump and he laid down on my deben (rug/mat). Every time I turn around he seems to be there. He thinks he’s helping me with my language but he’s more or less a pain in the ass.

He came with me to Miriam’s house after lunch so I could return her dishes. We chatted for a while…I mostly listened and then Miriam said for us to leave and that she would come by with some women later for more chatting. About an hour later about 20 women showed up outside my house squished into the shade of my jatigi’s house. Of course they all had their youngest children with them. I couldn’t understand most…any…of what they were saying but at one point it was some kind of heated conversation that many of them felt very strongly about.