It was one year ago today that I landed and put my feet down in the country of Mali in West Africa. A dream come true. Something that I had planned for almost 15 years to join the Peace Corps and live in Africa and now I’m here. Unbelievable. How many people get to say they lived their dream??!!
Unfortunately if anyone is still even reading my blog I went home after only 8 months. While there I saw issues that came up in my village as irreconcilable. I had complained and spoke to PC staff on several occasions and felt as if they weren’t doing anything about it. Then issues came up at home and my first response was “it’s time to go home” and I left. Now here I sit and all I’ve been able to think about the past couple of months is why did I come home? I spent the better part of the past 15 years thinking and working towards nothing else but getting to Africa…AND I LEFT. This has left such a void in my soul. A void of unfinished work, unaccomplished change and unfulfilled dreams.
I have been in touch with several NGOs both here and in Mali that have staff (both paid and/or volunteer) in Mali trying to get back. Although Mali wouldn’t be my first choice to go back to that’s where I was sent and that is where I feel like I need to finish my time in whatever capacity. Thus far I have not been able to accomplish anything and maybe it’s just not to be and I should just move on with my life, but I’m finding it very hard to move forward.
I am trying one more avenue that I hadn’t really thought of before. I’m going to contact Peace Corps and find out if there is anything I can do to be reinstated and sent back. A new volunteer has already been place in my village of Bougoula. So even IF they did consider it I would be placed in a different village. I all but begged and pleaded in my letter to them to let me go back. I haven’t finished and closed out my blog yet because I can’t seem to bring myself to admit that I’m done. Not with this adventure…not yet.
We don’t get many do overs in this life. Usually we don’t get any. But second chances are not impossible. Of course in hindsight if I could go back in time and do it over again I would. I can’t go back in time but hopefully I may be able to do it over again. I this doesn’t work I am willing to admit defeat. I screwed up and I need to take responsibility for that and move on with my life. I have an alternate plan in mind. I have a dear friend that has been living and teaching English in China for the past 5 years. She has invited me to come and stay and she will help me to get work also teaching English. I think I might do it. We only pass through this life once. We don’t get second chances so when you have the opportunity to have an adventure we should hold on with both hands and go for it.
I will first go to Mali to visit. I miss my PC companions and I miss my Malian “boyfriend” Mamadou. I miss him more than I thought I would. I'm sure some of that is because we can't be together and some of it is absolute affection for him. Sometimes life is not fair for sure. We still talk at least once a week and text at least 5 times a week. I will visit them for a while and then move on to China and live out a different dream. We are entitled to more than one dream in a lifetime, right??
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