I actually received a call today from the Mali Country Officer. He apologized for taking so long to get back to me and wanted to let me know that he would contact the country director and talk about my case. I never thought I'd hear from anyone. And never thought they would actually consider my situation.
I have made a decision, here and now, that this was to be my last effort to try and make good my wrong. If this does not work out in my favor I need to finally accept my decision, it will take awhile to overcome my feelings of regret but I'm sure I will, and move forward with my life. Wallowing in guilt and self pity because I made a bad decision does not do anyone any good. I've made plenty of bad decisions in my life and have survived all of them. You will only regret the things you didn't do.
February 21, 2012
I heard from Peace Corps today. They suggested that it would be possible for me to reapply to Peace Corps again, but at this time it would not be possible for me to return to Mali and finish out my service.
"It's hard to accept, but you can't change the past. You can't go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. Because life'd be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. But you can change the future and that's a beautiful thing about life. Yes, you will make mistakes. And yes, you will have bad days - but as long as you let the past go, you'll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person. Life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you use something amazing from. So grab hold of it."
I'm going to CHINA!!
Clare,
ReplyDeleteI just stumbled upon your Blog earlier today in searching out any news regarding the present situation in Mali. I was immediately inspired to read 'your story' because of your frankness and open honesty ... as in 'this isn't really what I signed up for, is it ??" I've spent the afternoon catching up with you and you've had me laughing and crying. I've spent a small amount of time in Guinea with a volunteer organization and could SOOOOO relate to your experiences ! I thoroughly enjoyed the read and was tranported back to my own Africa. Thank you so much for your open honesty and sharing it as it was, for you. I wish you JUST THE EXPERIECE YOU HAVE NEED OF in China and hope you will continue to share it with us by blog posts. Du Courage !!!!