Between dysentery, parasites, giardia and more I'm expecting that I will have quite the drop in weight. Which is good since I've gain so much weight as of recent times. Between that and only having a bicycle as my mode of transportation within no time at all I should be nice and skinny (emaciated) and you should be able to bounce quarters off my ass (bones).
This is a poem my Joshy wrote me last year for Mother's Day...after I found out I was recommended for Peace Corps:
You've been here for so long,
Momma you're so strong.
Never in my life have you
ever done me wrong.
Know my words are true,
my one true love is you,
I have the greatest faith
in all that you will do.
Credited are the years
of blood and sweat and tears,
for it's because of you
that I'm a man that has no fears.
No matter how we've fought,
or how bad I've thought,
none other on this planet
can replace the love that we've got.
There's nothing I can do,
and no words that I can say,
to truly express my love for you,
Happy Mother's Day
This is from the card he gave me Saturday night:
There are superheroes in comic books...there are superheroes in movies...superheroes save you from the bad guys in your nightmares. Never did I doubt that a superhero gave birth to me.
I love you momma more than you'll ever know. I'll try to be as strong as you while you're gone. I don't know where I'll be in 2 years. All I care about is that you come home safe to me. I'm going to miss you momma...more than you can understand. I promise while you're gone, I'll become the best man I can.
I love you momma, Joshy
This kid is ripping my heart out. I love both my boys so much. I can't help but think what horrible mother leaves there children like this. They are babies still in so many ways. And grown men in so many others. My leaving on this adventure is definitely a double edge sword for me.
I posted all of the above on Facebook as well. There are two comments that were posted back that made me feel a little bit better. One is from Sue, a friend of mine from as faaarrrr back as high school...and that's a long way back...sorry Sue, but it is...
Sue Gilmore Wright OMG Clare. You must me a mess, I am crying and he's not my son and I'm not going anywhere. It takes a special person to sacrifice their time away from their family to help others. You are such a strong women, and I am sure that you have raised strong young men. Hopefully the time will be well spent and go by quickly. Just think how much they will appreciate you when you get back. The world is a better place for having people like you in it. I wish you the safest and very best in your journey.
And a comment from a more recent friend, Michael J. Sweet and simple...
Michael J. Hang in there! Lots to learn on everyone's side.
Some of my afterthoughts...
Clare Francavilla Thanks Sue. It does help me to hear what other moms think. Your words are very sweet and takes some of the sting away. Thanks!!
Clare Francavilla While I was just in the shower I thought about what you said Sue and maybe I've been looking at it the wrong way and that's why I feel so bad. I've been thinking, How selfish of me to leave my family to go on this adventure of mine. But I appreciate your saying just the opposite. How special it is to sacrifice your time with your family to help others. Thank you again.
And Michael, your comment, " Hang in there! Lots to learn on everyone's side!" short and simple helped alot too from a mans perspective...since my boys are men. They do have a lot to learn. It's kind of like throwing them into the ocean (opposed to the pool) to see if they can swim, but they will certainly learn as much if not more than I will while I'm gone. They will be better men and certainly more grounded.
Thank you both!! If feel a little bit better right now.
I'll probably go right back to freakin out later and tomorrow...definitely Saturday and I can't even imagine what Sunday morning before and at the airport is going to be like...but right now...I feel better.
Random:
So I am, not afraid, but repulsed by little lizards and frogs. I don't know why. Always hated them always will. To the point where I almost had to move once because a frog got in my house. I didn't know how I was going to get him out so I thought, he can have the house. Well apparently there are frogs and lizards that frequent the mud huts that I will be living in while away in Mali. The PCV that I am reading up on that is in Mali now says that there are at least 5 to 6 frogs in her hut at all times. I'm am so unhappy about this. She say you can step on them at night when you go out to go to the bathroom. I'm thinking wetting the bed is a good option. But never come out of the mosquito net at night. My dear friend Loreen, whom I don't know what I would've done all these months while waiting to leave for Africa, sent me this today. Gotta love her...
That's why we call her Mean Loreen!!
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