I try so hard not to get upset or let the boys know that I am unhappy when I talk to them, but just hearing their voices reminds me of how alone I’m feeling and how much I miss them. I knew I would miss them but never imagined it would be something that I could feel inside and out. When I went to NY in September for 3 weeks, I realized after, that was the longest I had ever been away from them since the day they were born.
After talking to Jarrod for a few minutes it became apparent to him that I wasn’t having the experience I had hoped this would be and how unhappy I was without them near me. I told him I more or less made my bed…I can’t just pick up and run with my tail between my legs after 3 months. I at least had to give this some more time and do something of what I came here to accomplish. He told me that he has realized since I’ve been gone that I am his hero and the best role model anyone could ever hope for. I had a goal in mind, worked harder than he had ever seen anyone work and sacrificed more than he had ever seen anyone sacrifice to reach that goal. I did it according to him. I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Africa. I had already done more than most people would even dream of, and if it turns out that it is not what I dreamed of and hoped for there would be no shame in coming home. He could not admire me and be more proud of me than he already was.
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