Negative Nelly

April 25, 2011

Friday night I left for Bougouni, my transit house city and banking town. When we got installed at site we were supposed to stay 2 months with only leaving two nights in that time so we could immerse ourselves into our communities. For me, that wasn’t gonna happen. For two reasons…1. I’m not going a month without talking to my kids and family and 2) I was at site 9 days and already wanted to poke my eyes out. I’m going to assume I’m homesick, have culture shock and as a result am depressed…which would explain being curled up crying like a baby.

My intention was to meet up with another volunteer who is having a touch time in his village as well. We will bitch and moan, eat some good food, regroup and come back with a fresh attitude. I was going to come back yesterday, Sunda, but then realized it was Easter. Not being religious it was just an excuse to stay out of my site another night. By this morning although I spent all weekend without saying one nice workd about Africa, I actually felt better and ready to get back.

We went through the market and I bought some pasta, tomatoes and cucumbers. My plan is to start cooking for myself. What I plan on making with only the above I don’t know but it was a start. I was back in village by 11 ready to move forward instead of cowering in the corner. Cheta was by the road/pump doing laundry so she was the first person to see I was back. She helped me back to my house with my stuff. I emptied my backpack and spent the next 2 hours drenched in sweat organizing my room. Then I went to greet the neighbors and over to visit Miriam with a few gifts. She has been feeding me since I arrived and thought it would be appropriate to bring back a couple of items…including a head wrap that I sooo wanted to keep for myself.

We chatted, caught up the best we could taking into consideration the significant language barrier, she gave me a little lunch and I was on my way. I decided for dinner I was going to have tomatoe and cucumber salad. This is tricky and time consuming. If you are going to eat uncooked anything especially if it has skin it has to be washed then bleached for a half an hour and then rinsed. Without unlimited running water this is a challenge and a pain but it will be well worth it. Now they are soaking in vinegar and oil. I’m dying to eat them but I want to take a bath and put on clean clothes so I can relax and enjoy. I’m making that my new mantra…relax and enjoy.

A friend of mine called me from San Diego today. She said she stopped reading my blog because it was too negative and all I was doing was bitching and complaining. I promised to write about the good, the bad and the ugly. I just didn’t realize when I came here there would be more bad and ugly than good. After taking a long hard look at myself and my self made situation I’ve decided that an attitude adjustment was in order. I want to apologize for soundling like a whiney baby, bat that is exactly what I’ve been feeling like. I’m not going to leave out the bad but I am going to make an efford as of right now to have more good days than bad. I will study harder, greet and chat more and remember what a good sense of humor I have and use it!!

*Usually when I take the bus back and forth to Bougouni I get on a big public transit bus. Some look nice and aren’t too bad inside. Almost look like they might have a/c…but they don’t. Some buses don’t look like they run at all and you’re sure when you get in the floor will be open and you have to use your feet to get it going like the flinstones car. Today I missed the big bus leaving just as I was walking into the station. So I could wait 1, 2 or 4 hours for another one or jump on the van that was pulling up. I opted for the van. It wasn’t as small as a bush taxi, it had all it’s windows (which is a plus) and it was empty besides one other person. They told me they had to stop to pick up some stuff to go on the roof to be delivered along the way. No problem, I was just happy to be moving. We went two whole blocks and stopped. They spent 20 minutes loading steel beams and bags of cement. Now I don’t know if you could imagine what it’s like to hear steel beams being scraped across the roof of a car but it was like nails on a chalk board only deafening to say the least. These vans are old…really old. It’s a wonder some of them can even get out of their own way. The shocks are worn and like I said some don’t even have windows, but they get the job done…eventually. With every bag of cement I felt the van getting closer and closer to the ground. I thought it’s a good thing I’m only 32, away. Even if this thing can only do 30kpm, I’ll be home in no time. I don’t have anything to do today and I’m starting my new attitude. This will be a good test of patience.

I didn’t realize until now that the road home was a lot of uphill until this thing had to keep downshifting just to get me home. Other buses, vans, motos and scooters were passing us with a vengeance. A bird passed us at one point. I think it was shaking it’s little fist at us to get the hell out of the way. It’s all OK. I’m in no hurry!

*So I finally got tohe market today, just not by bike. My homologue took me. I was able to get some bread, tomatoes and onions. Still not much variety.